Parenting doesn’t always follow the plan we imagined. Life as a single parent brings its own challenges and joys, and one of the most important things I’ve learned is that love doesn’t always look conventional. For my daughter, having both her parents involved in her life — even if it’s in a different way than I once expected — is what truly matters.
I schedule my daughter’s father visits in advance, planning them around holidays and weekends when possible. While I have sole custody and make most of the decisions regarding her health, schooling, and routines, I value the importance of her having a father in her life. Even if her dad visits only once a month, we’ve found a way to make father visits meaningful and enjoyable for her.
One of my favorite quotes is from Mrs. Doubtfire:
“Just because they don’t love each other anymore, doesn’t mean that they don’t love you.”
I love this quote because it’s something I can one day share with my daughter if she ever wonders why her parents don’t live together. It reassures her that, no matter what, she is deeply loved by both of us.
Our Approach to Father Visits
I arranged video chats thinking they would be beneficial for my daughter. They happen a few times a week, and while I sometimes question if it was the right decision, they offer an extra way for her to see and connect with her dad between visits. I also share the occasional photo and text her father when needed.
For in-person visits, we plan activities in advance so the time is structured and enjoyable — for example, a memorable outing to the Aquatarium. While her dad is quiet by nature and the visits aren’t long, having a plan helps my daughter feel excited and prepared. Changes to the schedule are rare but sometimes necessary due to weather or work commitments.
Why Father Visits Matter
My daughter was born in 2022 and never met my father, who passed away before she was born. I grew up with a father always around, so I understand the value of having a father figure present. Even limited visits help give her a sense of family structure and love. She also occasionally sees her uncle, her father’s brother, which adds another layer of connection with her paternal family.
Although I’m realistic about the visits — I sometimes wonder if we’ll continue them in the future — for now, they are a fun and positive part of her life. My goal is simply to make the experience joyful and meaningful whenever they happen.
Staying Positive Through Challenges
Small frustrations happen, such as when plans need to shift, but I focus on my daughter’s happiness. Seeing her face light up when she spends time with her dad reminds me that the arrangement works for now.
Communication and planning are key. Setting expectations in advance, mapping out visitation days, and keeping discussions child-focused keeps the visits smooth. This approach allows my daughter to look forward to her time with her father without unnecessary stress or tension.
Tips for Other Single Parents
Every family’s situation is different, but here’s what works for us:
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Plan ahead: Map out visits and activities so the time together is enjoyable.
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Communicate openly: Keep conversations about your child, not past conflicts.
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Stay positive: Focus on your child’s experience rather than frustrations.
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Be flexible: Life happens — adapt when necessary, but try to keep a rhythm.
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Celebrate the moments: Even small interactions can be meaningful for your child.
Having a father figure in your child’s life doesn’t have to be complicated or frequent. For us, father visits are a fun and enjoyable part of my daughter’s life, giving her moments of connection, laughter, and family bonding. By planning ahead, keeping communication open, and focusing on her happiness, we’ve created a rhythm that works for now — one that keeps her feeling loved and secure.
If you enjoyed reading this blog as much as I enjoyed writing it, you may like reading one of these posts:
Emotional Wellness for rural single mothers
The One and Only: Raising an Only Child with Intention and Heart
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