When I became a single mum, I quickly realized that career decisions were no longer just about finding a job I enjoyed or earning a paycheque. Every opportunity had to be weighed against childcare, commuting, school schedules, and making sure I could still be there for my daughter.
As my daughter prepares to start school this September, I’ve found myself reflecting on how much my approach to work has changed over the past few years. Like many single parents, I’ve had to consider factors that may not always be at the forefront for households with two parents sharing responsibilities.
These single mum career decisions have shaped the jobs I’ve applied for, accepted, and even turned down.
How Career Priorities Change After Becoming a Single Mum
getting ready
Before becoming a single mum, career decisions felt much more straightforward. While commute times and salary still mattered, there wasn’t the same level of planning involved.
Today, my daughter comes first.
Every job opportunity requires me to ask several questions:
- Can I make the hours work?
- How long is the commute?
- What happens if my daughter is sick?
- Will childcare costs make the job worthwhile?
- How flexible is the employer?
- Can I still maintain a healthy work-life balance?
These questions often play a bigger role in my decision-making than the job itself.
The Reality of Childcare and Employment
daughter with backpack
One of the biggest factors affecting single mum career decisions is childcare.
When my daughter was younger, childcare expenses had a significant impact on the jobs I could realistically accept. While earning an income is important, there were times when childcare costs reduced the financial benefit of working.
For the past few years, I’ve balanced work while paying for daycare, which has been a necessary expense. However, with my daughter starting school this September, that expense will largely disappear.
This change will save approximately $400 per month, which makes a considerable difference to my household budget.
Beyond the financial savings, it also removes some of the stress associated with arranging childcare around work schedules.
Starting School Opens New Career Opportunities
As excited as I am for my daughter to start school, I would be lying if I said it wasn’t also changing how I think about work.
School creates more structure and predictability than daycare. While there will still be challenges such as PA days, school holidays, sick days, and summer vacation, the day-to-day routine becomes more manageable.
Having family support for school drop-offs and pickups is another factor that makes working full-time more realistic.
For the first time in a while, I feel like some of the pressure surrounding childcare decisions is easing.
That doesn’t mean all the challenges disappear, but it does create opportunities that may not have been possible before.
The Commute Dilemma
One thing I’ve learned is that commuting plays a huge role in single mum career decisions.
Recently, I accepted a full-time administrative position with a commute of approximately 30 minutes each way. While the commute isn’t ideal, it felt like a reasonable compromise given the stability and income the position provides.
However, I’ve become much more hesitant about jobs requiring commutes of 40 minutes or longer.
When you’re a single parent, a longer commute doesn’t just mean more time in the car. It can mean:
- Less time with your child.
- More stress during school pickups.
- Less flexibility when unexpected situations arise.
- Longer days overall.
Every minute matters when you’re balancing work and parenting responsibilities.
Living in Rural Ontario vs. the GTA
Another factor affecting my career decisions has been location.
Before moving to the Brockville area, I lived in Mississauga where job opportunities were more plentiful. While commutes could still be challenging, there seemed to be a greater variety of positions available.
In rural Ontario, opportunities can feel more limited.
This means I sometimes need to be more flexible when evaluating job offers, particularly when it comes to commuting and availability.
It’s one of the realities of rural living that doesn’t always get discussed.
While I love many aspects of living in a smaller community, finding the right employment opportunity can require additional patience and flexibility.
When Employers Don’t Understand
One of the more frustrating experiences I’ve had as a single mum occurred during a job interview.
When I mentioned that I needed to pick up my daughter at certain times, the interviewer made it clear that this would not work for them. The conversation ended shortly after.
Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m alone in this experience.
There have been times when I’ve felt that employers view family responsibilities as an inconvenience rather than a normal part of life.
As parents, we are expected to be reliable employees while also ensuring our children are cared for and supported.
It can sometimes feel like we’re being asked to choose between the two.
The Emotional Side of Career Decisions
One aspect of being a working single mum that isn’t discussed enough is guilt.
I’ve experienced guilt when accepting jobs because of the time spent away from my daughter.
I’ve experienced guilt when turning down opportunities that may have benefited us financially.
No matter which decision you make, it can feel like you’re sacrificing something.
I know many single mums understand this feeling.
We’re constantly trying to find the balance between providing financially for our children and being present for them emotionally.
The truth is that there is rarely a perfect answer.
Most of the time, we’re simply doing our best with the options available to us.
Looking Ahead to the Future
While I’m grateful to have secured full-time employment, I still think about what I want my future to look like.
Like many parents, I would love to eventually find a remote position that allows me to work from home.
The flexibility of remote work would provide more time with my daughter while eliminating the daily commute.
For now, I’m focused on building stability and creating a routine that works for our family.
But long-term, flexibility remains an important career goal.
Advice for Other Single Mums Navigating Career Decisions
If you’re currently weighing a job opportunity, my biggest piece of advice is simple:
Make a list of the pros and cons.
Sometimes a higher salary may not be worth excessive childcare costs or a lengthy commute.
Other times, accepting a position that isn’t perfect can provide much-needed stability and open doors for future opportunities.
Consider:
- Commute time.
- Childcare arrangements.
- School schedules.
- Family support.
- Work-life balance.
- Financial benefits.
- Long-term career goals.
Every family’s situation is different, and what works for one single mum may not work for another.
Final Thoughts on Single Mum Career Decisions
work selfie
Being a single parent means career choices often involve far more than simply deciding whether you want a job.
Childcare, school schedules, commuting, family support, finances, and work-life balance all play a role in the decision-making process.
As my daughter prepares to start school this September, I feel optimistic about the opportunities ahead. While there will still be challenges to navigate, this next chapter feels like a positive step forward for both of us.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that single mum career decisions are rarely easy—but with careful planning, support, and a willingness to adapt, it’s possible to find a path that works for both you and your children.
If you enjoyed reading this blog post as much as I enjoyed writing it, you may enjoy reading these:
Summer as a Single Mum: The Good, the Hard, and the Honest Truth
Why blogging is the perfect side hustle for single mums
The Reality of Starting a Blog as a Single Mum
I share more real-life moments from single motherhood, Ontario adventures, everyday style, food finds, and behind-the-scenes blogging over on Instagram.
Come say hello: @lifeofgem28
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